Sometimes, unwanted thoughts, feelings, emotions, or memories from the past knock at the door of our conscious minds. We automatically label these guests as hostile, and firmly lock the door for fear they will cause havoc in our safe and comfortable homes. They leave and hide in far, unexplored regions of the mind, becoming our closest, permanent neighbors. Because we are afraid of ever coming into contact with these so-called intruders, we remain confined in our limiting homes, never exploring our unclaimed territories and their limitless resources. These neighbors become our greatest enemies who could potentially cause us discomfort, pain, or disturbance at any time— every moment of our lives becomes centered on avoiding them. Our choices, behaviors, and habits, from the way we act to the way we think, are influenced by their unconscious presence. We believe these neighbors will eventually disappear, but all we’re doing is build thicker, taller walls separating them from us. We never dare to cross the drawn line between our safe and limiting homes, and the fearful but infinitely expandable territory.
Coaching is a conversational skill where a professional coach co-creates a desired future with an individual. An honest conversation, and some resilience to overcome momentary disturbances are simply needed to make these neighbors vanish forever. All they want is a channel to express some deeper needs waiting to be fulfilled; that channel is the home of your conscious mind. Discomfort and pain do not indicate the presence of something negative, but rather the absence of what is essential. Emptiness is filled not by avoiding but by allowing what is meant to come in. When you open the door, allowing your neighbors to enter, you also open your way out of your comfort zone and release. While they’re in, they gradually dissipate after a few intense minutes and leave vacant the lands they previously occupied. You can now claim back the parts of you that were taken and repressed— you plant more seeds, enjoy more resources, live more abundantly, and you expand. You wish you’d knew before, that the momentary pains of facing these neighbors, which are your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories, are worth the resourceful territories you gain later. As more guests continue to show up at your door, life becomes a never-ending, cosmic journey of allowing the pains and pleasures of life to pass through, and infinitely expanding to your highest and fullest potential.
Here are some affirmations to help you allow and dissipate your feelings, thoughts, and emotions with ease and flow. While you repeat these affirmations in your mind or out-loud, take deep breaths and feel your Being expanding as you pass through the sensations of resistance, discomfort, or pain that may arise:
“I am strong, vast, powerful, resilient, enough to handle and overcome any level of discomfort or pain. I allow the feelings and thoughts to pass through and leave with ease and flow. I am now wisely ready to let go, and open up for something newer and higher.”
“I am fully open and receptive for greater abundance and expansion in my life. I deserve only the highest and best things to happen. Everyday I make authentic choices that are in alignment with my fullest potential.”
Elie Abou-Jaoude is a Certified Life Coach, ICF, FCC, who brings a transpersonal and holistic approach to coaching, and helps individuals go through major life transformations and reach their fullest human potential. Always provides a culturally-sensitive, compassionate, and supportive environment.