Insights from Flow

5 Tips for Choosing the Best Business Coach for You

Need a Business Coach? 
It seems like many people out there claim to be business coaches without certification, so how do you decide which Business Coach is effective for you? 
Here at FLOW Coaching Institute, it takes 3-8 months of accredited training, mentoring and supervision to become an ICF certified business coach. Knowing what it takes for a business to become successful and knowing the challenges of various business environments, FLOW Business Coaches are intensively trained with the unique 5 step FLOW Coaching Methodology. The 5 step FLOW Coaching Method is based on science and research. Our international Business Coaches have helped several businesses to overcome their barriers and succeed. Not all Business Coaches use techniques backed by research and science and hence fail to support their clients. Without structure, no progress can be made. 
Following these 5 tips, you will be in a better position to make an informed decision when choosing a Business Coach who can provide you with measurable success for your business. 

1. Choose a certified coach. 
Certification means that your coach has professional values and believes in investing in one's business. If you go with a self-claimed business coach with no coaching education, it means that they do not value learning new things and learning from others. 

2.Make sure your coach has enough experience: 
It is better to hire a coach who has some know-how to business basics and has business acumen. Your business coach should have a working knowledge of how to help business leaders make important decisions, how they must tackle obstacles, and catch opportunities for business growth. 

3. Test their business theory:
Even if your coach doesn't have a business degree or any formal training in business, he should know of the popular techniques and theories advocated by the world's top business leaders. It is easy for a Business Coach to gain this knowledge by doing some research and reading some books. Along with being a good Business Coach, they must also have their own business opinions to help understand your situation by being in your shoes.

4. Look for references and real-life examples:
A successful Business Coach would be most eager to share their positive experience with their clients and provide real-life examples and case studies that have been successful. Ask for examples regarding how they have helped entrepreneurs, business owners, or organizations reach their goals. It could be behavioral change, culture change, sales figures, productivity, expansion goals etc. 

5. Understand their coaching approach: 
An effective coach doesn't use a make-up theory. Their coaching has to be based on a scientific method that has been tested and bound to work in most cases. Spend a little time looking for the process of your Business Coach to truly understand and see the value of coaching and if it is helpful to you and your business. Most ICF Certified Coaches prefer to stick to specific standards and coaching methodology, so your top priority would be choosing someone certified from a legit institution or coaching authority. 

6. Seek for the chemistry between yourself and your coach: 
Apart from being the best-trained and certified, not all coaches are the same and share the same values. Spend some time with your Business Coach and understand if they share the same fundamental principles as you. Trust your gut feeling and make sure the Business Coach understands your vision, goals, values and would be a good fit. 

There are plenty of business coaches out there; however, make sure to pick the one that aligns with your goals and values and can take your business to its full potential. Keep your standards high; your business deserves it. 
If you are looking to become a Business Coach, consider enrolling in our ICF Business Coaching Certification Program, email us today for the program overview and outline at 


Talyaa Vardar

4 Ways a Business Coach Can Help Family Businesses

A family business has a lot more at stake than other regular businesses, and that’s why it has the most need for Business Coaching. Why? Because each family member is personally involved in handling the business and putting all of their heart and soul into the business. A Business Coach can provide direction to the family business with goals invested in long-term dreams, and it’s a lot more personal for them.

In a family business, a variety of family members would want a say in the industry; at FLOW, we believe that’s great; our method of coaching, which has been derived from Positive Psychology and Neurosciences, has been proven to be effective in several businesses all over the globe for more than 15+ years. The coaching works just as well for a family business, just as it works for individual entrepreneurs.


This blog discusses a few ways Business Coaching can help family businesses:

1. Brings extra knowledge:

A Business Coach is a person who has been trained to be a Coach and someone who has business acumen and knows the best business practices of the industry. Your Business Coach can act like another peer at the discussion table. Someone who can ask meaningful questions, work out solutions with you, offers valuable perspective and a big picture which a family might miss all along.


2. Each family member is valued:

A Business Coach knows how to make others feel heard. With the Business Coach, each family member will have an opportunity to talk about their role, their problems, their solutions, their ideas and their values. One of the things they can also discuss with the Business Coach is their long-term goals and dreams. The Business Coach can make sure every family member contributes to the discussion equally.


3. Encourages brainstorming:

Many family businesses face a common problem: some of the family members dominate over others, or maybe it’s another type of family business where everyone demands attention. A Business Coach can help mediate the discussion and give an equal floor to every member to have their say. This way, a clueless fight can turn into a helpful brainstorming session where everyone can develop solutions and ideas.


4. Brings the family closer:

It has been reported that many family coaching clients benefit from coaching and believe that it brought them together as a family. Business Coaching can help the family make more effective mutual decisions and find common grounds. With coaching, families become more united, ready to face new challenges and competition.

The listed benefits of Business Coaching alone are worth the investment. If you are looking to coach Business owners, entrepreneurs, executives, corporate clients, or family businesses, consider becoming an ICF Certified Business Coach. Get in touch with us now for a free consultation session without any obligation; get in touch with us at


Talyaa Vardar

Building Cultural Competence in Your Coaching Practice

Racial, ethnic, gender, and cultural disparities exist in all aspects of society, but nowhere are the societies or organizations near to embrace these towards creating inclusive cultures. Although people of diverse racial, ethnic, gender and cultural background exist in every community and organization, we often fail to provide a culturally competent environment where differences are seen as not threats but strengths to nurture.

Limited understanding of culture leads to fear-based segregation within societies and organizations.



Cultural competence: A set of congruent behaviours, attitudes and policies that come together as a system, that system, agency or those professionals to work effectively in cross-cultural situations. The word "culture" is used because it implies the integrated pattern of human thoughts, communications, actions, customs, beliefs, values and institutions of a racial, ethnic, religious or social group. The word competence is used because it implies having a capacity to function effectively.

How is your coaching practice doing?

Understanding clients' diverse cultures — their values, traditions, history and institutions — is not simply political correctness. It is integral to eliminating disparities and providing high-quality coaching. Culture shapes individuals' experiences, perceptions, decisions and how they relate to others. It influences the way your clients respond to your coaching and impacts the results they create. In culturally diverse societies, coaches and other mental health professionals need to build sensitivity toward diverse client populations and work to understand culturally influenced behaviours about working with coaches, therapists, and other mental health practitioners.

At the individual practice level, there are several things coaches can do to adopt a holistic understanding of cultural competence:

1. See diversity as a value. In other words, do not merely tolerate people of differing backgrounds and viewpoints but embrace differences as strengths.

2. Be mindful of potential dynamics when people from different backgrounds interact. Diversity can cause conflict and force individuals out of their comfort zones, but it is merely because of our limited or misunderstanding of the differences.

3. Reflect on your subconscious biases about other cultures and differences you encounter. Do you feel superior or inferior to particular cultures or specific people? Do you feel more privileged or less privileged than particular populations?

Each of us has these blind spots, and reflecting on these differences is helpful in becoming aware of your own.

4. Facilitate a dialogue or conversation about sensitivities. Doing this will help you to collect information about cultures that you are not familiar with.

5. Adopt a learner's mindset. Ask yourself: what can I learn today from these people?

6. Train your ears to hear well. Be respectful to people that use different terminology than yours and speak with an accent.


There is a vast difference between people that merely preaches diversity and the people that live it. Coaches can lead the way in creating more culturally competent societies and eliminating the striking disparities that divide humanity unnecessarily.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching from The Inside Out and Facing Our Own Shadow with Courage

Life coaches can change the world. All coaching is life coaching, and becoming a certified life coach is a big decision and responsibility. Since it doesn’t only gain you a profession, but it changes you from the inside out if you embrace its concepts and incorporate them into your own life. Connecting with other humans on a deep level requires courage from within since you may face your vulnerabilities and your shadow by only witnessing theirs.


Sometimes, just listening to other people’s fears and limitations triggers our former issues or challenging habits that were dysfunctional. If you do not practice your neutral coach presence, then, the pressure of being an effective coach will take over and you find yourself swamped in the worries of your ego versus your authentic self. 


This challenge is not limited to life coaches. It is a problem of any help profession. For example, counselors and psychotherapists confront this day by day, therefore they develop coping skills to detach themselves and disassociate from their clients’ trauma or disease. When working with other vulnerable souls, a coach also needs to develop a detached position, otherwise, you might find yourself in burnout, then you won’t be able to serve as your best coach-self.   


A detached coach position is the best strategy to serve and make an impact. It is not a cold or reserved presence, but an authentically curious one: 

- You are curious about the best potential of your client, 

- You are curious about possibilities for your client,

- You are curious about the creative potential of your client.


When you develop such a presence, then, you will be able to work with your own shadow by using the same strategies you use for your clients. For example, if a former pattern that blocked you in your previous life gets triggered in a coaching session, do not get tramped- tell yourself that you will work with it after the session. Then, go back to your detached, curious and authentic coach presence. After the session, coach yourself and what was triggered as if you are coaching another person:

- What is the message for me?

- Why is this coming up right now?

- What do I need to understand and learn so that I grow and become a better coach?

- How can I get creative with this?


Do the work. Don’t be afraid of your shadow. As long as you stay solution-focused, you will be able to transform what doesn’t serve you into possibilities. 

Talyaa Vardar

Becoming a Life Coach

Looking for a new career? Not satisfied with your current role? Or perhaps you are happy in your job, but you are looking for something more. A career that allows you to make a difference in the lives of those around you. For some people, helping others is a way to help ourselves feel accomplished. It might be time to consider becoming a life coach.

Generally speaking, a life coach helps people make important changes in their lives and reach their personal and professional goals through guidance and practice. Life coaching is about helping people unlock people’s talent so they can achieve what they want in their lives. Life coaching techniques can be applied to all aspects of life including personal, work, business, social, sports, school, performance, and many more.

Virtually every aspect of our lives can be touched by life coaching. How about becoming a life coach? To be successful you have to want to become a life coach because you’re passionate about reaching out to others and helping them.

If you are interested in becoming a life coach, here are a few ways to start:

Do Your Research

Like any other endeavor, the first thing you need to do is get the lay of the land. To find your place in it, you need to learn what the life coaching world is all about. What would be expected from you as a life coach? What are potential clients looking for? Where can you apply coaching to your current sphere of expertise? What kind of job and business opportunities are in life coaching?

And most importantly, where can you get accredited? Before you get started, you need to find the answers to all of these questions. We recommend that you start with the International Coach Federation (ICF). The ICF will have all the information you need to become a life coach.

Decide On Your Goals

Once you have your information, you need to decide what you are going to do with it. Where would you like to apply your life coaching talents? A good place to start is with what you know. If you have experience in boardrooms, the natural start point would be executive coaching. Are you a small business owner? Become a mentor for novice business owners. A teacher? Apply your life coaching skills to troubled teens. You might be satisfied with your current job and opt to use your coaching skills to help others as a fulfilling part-time career. Or you might decide to create a coaching business of your own. Each person will have their own reasons for becoming a life coach.

Find Your Own Mentor

Just because you want to coach others, doesn’t mean you can coach yourself. Everyone can use a guiding hand. Browse the ICF website and find a life coach that can help you reach your goals so you can help others do so as well.

Join an Accredited Coaching Institute

The last step is the hardest, but the most important: learning how to be a coach. You might have natural coaching talent, but it needs to be cultivated. A good coaching program will not only give you skills, but also the credential you need to attract potential clients. Look no further than the FLOW Coaching Institute, the premier executive coaching certification program online. 

Using the exclusive FLOW Coach Method, our talented instructors will guide you throughout our five modules and the final supervised practicum to help you become a successful coach. The FLOW Coaching Institute is an Accredited Coach Training Program (ACTP). Contact us today and find out how you can make a difference! Or check out our program pageto see when's the next intake so you can get started right away!

Talyaa Vardar

Life Coaching Skill Development: Becoming a Mindful Coach

Life always gets in the way. We are always so busy. And most of us are caught up in being busy and don’t notice what’s around us or what we are actually living.

Because of that, we miss most of life. Sad, isn’t it?

We all have only one life to live and if we constantly stay busy and are not able to find the time to resonate with life and truly enjoy it -- life will pass us by so fast and you won't even realize what you've missed until the time is gone.

This is where mindfulness comes into play. 

Mindfulness is about learning to be present for yourself and in your own life. It is a state of being that a life coach can and will help you to maintain calm and peace.

It is also an elegant way of attending and witnessing life through your full senses. Being mindful means experiencing the “here and now”, so that you can choose your thoughts, your actions and realize your negative habits to stop them, process past hurts and emotional grudges that are holding you, and not allowing these to take control of your one and only life. What do we say? Life coaching starts with the self.

Steps Towards Building a Mindfulness Practice for Life Coaches

Being mindful is a way of taking non-judgmental attention. Developing a mindfulness practice helps one to build and maintain a “transformational coaching presence” that is peaceful, objective, accepting, and detached.

Create rituals.

Daily rituals will help you to empty your mind and body after your life coaching sessions and outside your coaching practice as well.


Breathing is an important channel of connecting to our souls and body. Ask yourself powerful coaching questions to explore about the link between your breathing, your body, and soul.


ICF-certified life coaches are trained in developing active listening practice. Give your attention to what other people are saying and not will help your perception and give you a chance to filter mindfully.

Have quiet time.

Even if it's for 10 minutes -- make an effort to stay alone and have a quiet time with yourself every day.

Listen to a peaceful piece of music every day.

This will relax your neurons and help you to get day’s stress out of your system on a regular basis.

Make art.

Making art provides an aesthetic experience to come to our senses and help us to perceive our inner and outer world in a more intuitive way.

Appreciate your achievements even small wins on a daily basis.

When you take the time to appreciate your small wins, it gives you a boost of dopamine and it reminds you that you did a good job. If not you will just go about your days just doing and not appreciating the progress you have made.

Keep a gratitude diary or journal.

List at least five things that you are grateful for every night (family, health, job, people around you, nature, the beautiful movie you just watched, money, creativity...).

These might seem like small things you can do but trust us when we say that it all adds up in the long run.

If you are interested in becoming a life coach yourself, feel free to email us at to learn more about our ICF-certified life coaching programs today. Click here to explore some Jobs For Life Coaches

Talyaa Vardar

Dog Doo, Office Politics, and Managing Your Time

Dog doo. There it is. On the floor. In the living room. On the carpet. Not on the silk rug, thank you, Dog, but on the carpet nearby. What’s my first reaction? I don’t like this. This shouldn’t be happening. I don’t have time for this. What’s wrong with this dog? Or more kindly, Is there something wrong with the dog? Maybe my body tenses up a bit. It’s a little clenching of the jaw. Or of the shoulders, or in my belly.

Office Politics. There they are. On the workplace floor. Where there are people there are politics. What is my reaction to this situation? Someone disagrees with me. Someone agrees with me. Someone wants me to do it differently. I want someone to do it differently. Do I think this shouldn’t be happening? Do I feel my jaw, my shoulder, my belly clench?

Managing Time. Look at all this dog doo in my schedule! What do I do? Where do I start? I’m multi-tasking a mile a minute and getting nowhere. If only I were more efficient. If only my situation didn’t require so much of me. This job is stressful. It shouldn’t be this way. If I stop to notice, I find that something is clenched.

And at the moment I stop to notice, I have a choice. I might now be able to say, “Hmmm…dog doo – or office politics, or time crunch. Better clean it up before someone steps in it. Better clean it up before I step in it myself.” No more thoughts that this shouldn’t be happening. What’s the inspired action that would clean it up? If it’s not clear, can I wait until there is one?

I have one, single, simple, powerful suggestion to take right now: Try not keeping anything out. Try letting it all in. See what happens if you let in the dog doo. It’s there anyway. If you let in the office politics; they’re there anyway. If you accept, surrender, and quit fighting your schedule, your calendar, your congestion of the agenda. And if you find yourself saying “This shouldn’t be happening!” you simply notice that you’re thinking it shouldn’t be happening, and you just interrupt for the moment the thought that you shouldn’t be thinking that this shouldn’t be happening.

When we block out anything, we are blocking out pieces of ourselves. And when we block out pieces of ourselves we are blocking out our joy. Blocking out is blocking out.

Joan Sutherland, Roshi, a Zen Buddhist Roshi, observes that equanimity is keeping pace with your own life.

Have you noticed that sometimes things flow and you get more done than you expected? You aren’t so much bothered by the dog doo or the office politics, or how busy you are, and your world looks easy.

Observe yourself. I bet you’ll notice that these are times when you aren’t blocking anything out. You aren’t expecting one thing and rejecting whatever is not that. You are keeping pace with your life. It may be a fast pace or a slow pace, but you’re okay with it, maybe even loving it.

Do I let everything in 100% of the time? No. Do I do this practice perfectly? Yes, in the sense that I practice when I remember to practice. And practice is perfect.

When you’re ready, you will know what action to take. When you’re ready, your action will be inspired action. If you aren’t inspired – which means you aren’t ready – rest. Or meditate. Or have a brief chat about what is working with someone supportive. Or just breathe. Find a moment of what the poet Tenney Nathanson calls “bonsai spaciousness.” Manage your energy – not the dog doo, the office politics, or your time.

By Jennifer Sellers, MCC (Master Certified Coach)

Talyaa Vardar

Witnessing our one and only life with Mindfulness

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” wrote Mary Oliver, the poet of hopes and empowering dreams. As she aimed to raise awareness to life’s busy flow. In fact, are we really aware of ourselves while walking on life’s path?

Nowadays, “mindfulness” sparks curiosity in everyone. Often described as grasping the moment, living in the moment; mindfulness actually is a series of applications.

I find that the best way to describe mindfulness is “to witness the moment and the actions unfolding and to focus on them”. It is easier said than done, since our minds are wanderers and our souls are drifters.
Daily mindfulness practice is a must in order to build those “awareness muscles” in the brain.


Mindfulness practices come from Asia reaching deep into Buddhism based on “deep thought” practices. Scientific studies on Buddhist monks led Positive Psychology focus on mindfulness for the past 30-40 years. According to research at Surrey University, regular mindfulness exercises are helpful in:

  • decreasing stress by 40% and even overall elimination in some instances,
  • decreasing the effects that cause depression by 57% and even overall elimination in some instances,
  • decreasing anxiety by 52% and even overall elimination of it,
  • decreasing the state of physical exhaustion by 25%.
  • Furthermore, it’s stated and proven that regular mindfulness practices boost focus.

Mindfulness is the act of full capacity, moment-to-moment focus of awareness on a person, an object or a place. Eating a tomato, consciously feeling the colour, texture and taste, describing the aroma of it on your tongue, experiencing the senses of it at that given moment. Touching your beloved one, feeling the skin-to-skin contact, with its texture and its scent. Playing with your child, noticing how her fingers are holding the toy, noticing her voice, solely focusing on the play instead of the chore of washing the dishes are all practices of mindfulness.

Those who are experts in mindfulness, train their minds and their body for months and years.

We are connected to the physical world with our five senses and body. That is the reason why mindfulness practices focus on the awareness of the body and the stimulation of our five senses.

So, let’s begin practicing:
Find a comfortable spot. Sit on the floor with your spine upright, soles of your feet fully touching the ground. Feel free to close your eyes. Take a few deep breathes. You could keep your hands on your knees or lap. Now, turn your focus on the sensations on your soles, what do you feel? Next, focus on your spine and the breathing from your nose. What kind of pressure do you feel on your spine? How warm is the air you breathe in? While scanning your body, thoughts will visit your mind. Let them visit and re-focus on the bodily sensations. Focus on the sound of your breath and let it calm your mind.

For the first day, you could start doing this exercise for a few minutes to increase your awareness to your physical sensations. You could eventually increase the duration to 5-20 minutes and notice how your mind relaxes and your capacity to focus on the physical sensations increase. You could expect some ups and downs along the way, which is perfectly normal.

Remind yourself Rumi’s quote “Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times. Come, come again, come.”
It is natural for your focus to get distracted. Once your breath co-ordinates with your mind, you will notice more relaxation along the way.

By Talyaa Vardar, PCC

Talyaa Vardar

Signs your inner critic is hurting your career

Inner Critics hold you back from being as successful as you could be.

Negative self-talk, lack of self-appreciation, fear of failure... these are all the sharpest tools of your own PERSONAL INNER CRITIC.  They are zapping your confidence.

Here’s something to remember. Competence will only get you so far. If you don’t have Confidence, you are going to hit a ceiling in your growth.

So, what I want to talk to you about today is how your INNER CRTIC is holding you back from reaching your FULL CAREER POTENTIAL.

Yes, it's your PERSONAL INNER CRITIC holding you back. Nothing else. It’s not your Bully Boss, or your Controlling Mom, or your Unsupportive Spouse, or anyone else. Oh yes, they have a role to play. But you are the one making the choices.

I liken it to eating things that are bad for me.  My husband can bring the cookies into the house, but I’m the one who decides to eat them.

Eleanor Roosevelt

So, let’s start with identifying some of the common ways your PERSONAL INNER CRITIC shows up, and holds back your awesome career potential.



People who want everyone to like them, have an Inner Critic that tells them they are not worth being liked. These are the People Pleasers.

Signs that we are a People Pleaser include making a lot of wishy-washy statements full of ‘ifs’, ‘justs’, ‘maybes’ and other lovely qualifiers. We also spend a lot of time needlessly apologizing.

Another sign of the People Pleaser, is worry and anxiety. We have an overdeveloped sense of urgency that creates a lot of anxiety in us, and those around us. We worry that we (or our teams) are not delivering ‘the way we should’.

It’s true that many projects are urgent. I’m just saying when it's handled in an anxious way, it screams ‘fear of failure’.  And also, it’s not pleasant to work with someone like that

We can choose to keep it calm, encourage people, and manage expectations with our stakeholders. Or we can choose to freak out. Either way the work is going to get done.

Here’s the SAVAGE TRUTH – To have a successful career, people need to RESPECT you, not like you. If you don’t have respect – your options become limited.

Rather than focusing on getting people to like us, focus on confidently treating people respectfully. Our peers and team will love it. And bonus points, our Mean Girl will hate it!

How NEEDING TO BE LIKED kills your career:

  • If you’re not sure you’re worth being liked, then other people won’t be sure either.
  • Our anxiety stresses out those around us, and people don’t want to work with us, or FOR us
  • We lack the authority or respect to influence action
  • We burn-out
  • Confidence trumps Competence



A classic sign of a ‘I’m not good enough’ critic is when we are not truly supportive when other people are successful. If you feel anger, resentment or jealousy when someone else actually achieves something, that’s a red flag!

What is actually happening is that we are disappointed and upset with OURSELVES because someone else has the confidence to go after what they want, and to top it off – they don’t care what we think! How DARE they?

And then in order for us NOT to feel bad about ourselves, false narratives are created around how there MUST be SOME OTHER REASON this ‘person’ is successful.

  • “they’re just telling them what they want to hear”
  • “they’re buddies with so-and-so”
  • “I heard they took credit for someone else’s work”

So, if any of this type of stuff is crossing your mind, or worse, coming out of your mouth, your Inner Critic is definitely in control.

How BEING JEALOUS kills your career:

  • People don’t trust or respect us because they think we are gossipy and mean.
  • No one wants unsupportive, negative people on their team. They are good for a laugh or a beer, but not in the C-Suite.
  • Our lack of confidence becomes obvious to other people
  • Confidence trumps Competence.


Our Inner Critic wants to keep us safe. And what better way to do that than by avoiding putting ourselves out there.

Let’s look at a few examples, shall we?  A job comes up at our current company (or a different company).  We don’t apply because we don’t have 2/10 qualifications they listed for the job. And it would take a lot of confidence to sell the 8/10 qualifications we have. So, we don’t even try. Never mind that even if we didn’t’ get the job, we are getting interviewing experience, being noticed by Sr. Management, or expanding your network of advocates.

Excuse: I really like what I’m doing now

And there are a ton of other ways it shows up.

  • We turn down social events because we think we are uncomfortable with small talk. Excuse: I have to get home for the kids/dog/husband
  • We don’t put our hand up to lead a ‘special project’ team because we're afraid to blow it. Excuse: I have a ton on my plate right now
  • We say no to presenting part of a recommendation to Sr. Mgmt. Excuse: Wow – thanks for the offer. But they’d probably take it better coming from you.
  • We say no to starting our own business, with a great partner, doing something we love. Excuse: I need a stable income right now… yes, money is an excuse.

Inner Critic – 1. Career success – 0

How AVOIDING OPPORTUNITIES kills your career:

  • We narrow our network – social events and special projects fantastic ways to create new advocates.
  • We have a narrower work experience
  • We don't try, so we don't learn and we don't build our confidence
  • Confidence trumps Competence



Your boss is having a good day, so you are having a good day. Someone compliments the work you did on a project, so you walk around grinning all day. Someone says they like your outfit, and your peacock feathers are in full bloom.  Everything is right in the world.

And then your boss gets mad because something wasn’t done ‘right’ – you feel like a loser. No one mentions the good job you did on that project you worked so hard on, and you feel underappreciated. You didn’t get the job you interviewed for so you feel like you’ll never get any job.

Because our Inner Critic doesn't believe in us, we become at the mercy of other people's mood's and attentions. We end up losing control of how we feel about ourselves.

Just because someone says we are good or bad – doesn’t make it true. It only matters how awesome WE think you are.  So be proud of our work! And even if the boss has some ‘constructive feedback’ and is being ‘not so nice’ about it. So what.  Feedback is good. Learning is good. The ‘not so nice-ness’ is them.  You don’t need to worry about it.

How LACK OF SELF-WORTH kills your career:

  • We are needy & moody – neither are traits of strong leaders, and no one has time to deal with it
  • We stop being ourselves after a while because we’re trying to be what people like… which is impossible to sustain
  • We become more insecure and ineffective because we lose track of our authenticity
  • Confidence trumps Competence



You just finished presenting your work to an important audience, and you feel great about it. You practiced and practiced, and you are very proud of yourself.  Then the next person on the agenda gets up, and in your mind, they are more at ease, get more laughs, get more pats on the back – whatever.  You think they did a way better job than you.  All of a sudden, it’s Inner Critic time, and you feel like you failed.


“Comparison is the Death of Joy”… Mark Twain said that.


I was reading ‘You’re a Badass’ and she made a fantastic point. Her question was, what would have happened if our greatest heroes has conceded to comparison?

Jen’s example was about Marilyn Monroe. What if Marilyn compared herself to Kate Moss? Would she have given up her curves?  It made me think.  Would we have ‘Sgt. Pepper’ if the Beatles compared themselves to the Rolling Stones? Would we have ‘Seinfeld’? Oprah?

OK – and then there is the argument that comparison drives us to be better. It makes us push ourselves harder. Well - there is a difference between COMPARISON and INSPIRATION.

With inspiration, it's more like "Wow, that's incredible. I want to do that... or be like that".  This is where we establish heroes or role models or mentors. It pushes us to be better.  This is wonderful and comes from a place of energized learning and growth.

Comparison is when we feel badly about ourselves because we are not as good as someone else.  In some cases, we may become apathetic, e.g. I'll never present as well as her.  And in other cases, we go into 'fight-mode' and drive ourselves into action, e.g. I've got to learn to present better or my competence may be questioned.  In both cases, the reaction is driven by FEAR. Fear of failure and not being good enough. This creates stress and anxiety - and that is destructive.  And in the end, it actually lessens the likelihood of achieving your goal.

You can definitely appreciate… and even CELEBRATE… other people’s success without it reflecting on how you feel about you.  In fact, make it a habit. Celebrate everyone’s success… INCLUDING your own. There is enough success in this world for everybody.

If comparison is the death of joy… then loving yourself is the death of your Inner Critic.

How COMPARISON kills your career:

  • Impacts our ability to be innovative, e.g. Sgt. Pepper
  • We get miserable (see Mark Twain), and that is not inspiring for any team
  • We spend our energy on figuring out how to be like other people vs. growing our business/career
  • Confidence Trumps Competence

OK – here’s the almost the last thing I want to say about your Inner Critic.  YOU ARE THE BOSS OF YOUR INNER CRITIC… not the other way around. Whenever you become aware that your Inner Critic is trying to derail you, just send them on an extended lunch and get back to your amazing life.

Yes, it’s easier said than done.  Even if you only catch your Inner Critic in the act once a day – that’s better than before. And then slowly it will increase. It is totally possible.

OK - now here's the last thing I want to say...It’s your uniqueness that makes you awesome. It’s your uniqueness that will make you successful.  BE YOU!!



My goal is to help as many people as I can create a career where they get up every morning and say, I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE PAY ME TO DO THIS! 20+ yrs Corporate Marketer | ACTP Certified Coach | Owner @ Savage Success Coaching | President @ Flow Coach Institute

Talyaa Vardar

Four Criteria to Choosing A Business Coaching Certification Program

What is Business Coaching?

Whether a start-up or a mid-sized company, business coaching is about supporting business owners and entrepreneurs to help them in the following areas:

  • Developing their vision, mission, and SMART goals;
  • Designing and refining their business plan to achieve success;
  • Supporting them in coping with stress and resiliency, especially in the early years of their business;
  • Encouraging their strategic thinking and implementation skills;
  • Ensuring they focus and use their time efficiently;
  • Working on their habits and prioritizing skills;
  • Building a sustainable management system;
  • Supporting them in their gap analysis, needs analysis, and SWOT;
  • Learning and adopting business development skills such as networking, finance, etc.
  • Aiding in family matters should the need arise in a family-owned business.

A good business coach is the success partner for an entrepreneur. If you want to become a business coach, it is important to work on your own relationship with success and failure.

What should you look for in a business coaching certification program?

  1. Ensure that the business coach training has the right accreditation that will allow you to become a certified business coach.
  2. Look for the ICF ACTP (International Coach Federation Accredited Coach Training Program) or at least ICF ACSTH (International Coach Federation Approved Coach Specific Training) logos.
  3. Inquire about the background of the instructor. Do they have a successful business background, including running their own lucrative business? What is their coaching background and have they ever coached business owners themselves?
  4. Ensure the school is teaching coaching competencies that will allow you to acquire the skills required to lead effective coaching sessions. This will in turn give you the confidence to coach and build the fulfilling career that you deserve.

Talyaa Vardar