Why People Fixated on Failure are Not Able to Break Out of the Vicious Cycle
Why do some people have consistent success while others miss out? Many institutions and directors seek the answer to this question. If the person in question has no pathological conditions, or if the characteristic tendencies of the person do not prevent success in his/her performance (a combination of the wrong person and the wrong job), then coaching and mentoring are beneficial in up to seventy-five percent of cases.
However, sometimes there is a circumstance where you try everything you know how to help the person, but something is just off and it just doesn’t work. As a coach you will feel bad and you will wonder why, but the answer rests within your client. Someone who is unable to carry the burden of responsibilities will miss an opportunity to grow – especially if s/he is constantly looking for someone else to blame. In fact, an opportunity for success will be missed. If you observe people like this for any length of time, you will see a cycle where there is a tendency to self-sabotage by denying themselves and their actions. Instead of carrying the burden of their own responsibilities, these people regularly blame others or the circumstances surrounding them. They need others to be wrong in order to be able to reassure themselves, even if just a little, because accepting the problem or mistake requires growth, and that growth needs courage and strength. Man is born alone – he comes into this world on his own and leaves on his own. This is actually power, but only a few people possess the level of awareness which will allow them to face up to this truth.
People who regularly sabotage themselves avoid facing existential loneliness. When someone faces it once, “understanding” happens. Subsequently, understanding necessitates choice; they are either going to be strong or they are going to admit that they are knowingly sabotaging themselves. However, then it will no longer be possible to blame others or the circumstances. The easiest thing for such people is denial and avoidance – until the next sabotage. Unless these people break free of this cycle of blame and denial, they will be doomed to the repeated failure over and over again.