Four Step Coaching Formula To Make New Year’s Resolutions Work for You

Four Step Coaching Formula To Make New Year’s Resolutions Work for You

Talyaa Vardar, MA, FCPC, MCC
Talyaa Vardar, MA, FCPC, MCC
Executive Coach, Psychologist & Art Therapist

We are almost at the end of 2018, and it is the time of the year to make New Year’s resolutions. This annual ritual cultivates hope for what there is to come and what we want to create. It gives us a sense of optimism and control over our life.

Are you aiming for a healthier version of you?
Are you hoping to finish what you have been procrastinating on the most?
Are you wanting to adopt a more optimistic view towards yourself and your life?
Are you planning on learning some new skills?
Are you wanting to cultivate new habits, such as regular exercise?

Whatever your resolutions are, they are on your list because they are important to you.

Research tells us that only 70% of change initiatives are successful. The majority of change management initiatives are not accomplished because most people are not aware that our brain does not like change and it is not good at managing it. Our brain is actually designed to resist change and it perceives change as a source of threat to our survival.

FLOW Coaches are trained with certain coaching skills to impart effective change management and they learn a special coaching formula to support their clients in managing successful and meaningful change in their personal and professional lives. This formula is called the Four Steps Coaching Formula of Change Management. Applying the steps of this formula helps our brain to shift it’s focus from perceiving it as a threat to understanding it as an improvement or opportunity that comes with change. Therefore, the brain can be trained to cooperate with us instead of resisting change.

Here is our Four Steps Coaching Formula to Change Management that will help you accomplish your New Year’s resolutions. Each step requires you to ask yourself powerful coaching questions and answer them with special attention.

Describe your pain: The first step of the formula is to start describing what makes you unhappy or uncomfortable. Our survival brain tries to move away from pain or discomfort. By acknowledging our pain points, we are helping our brain take the first step in controlling the negativity and thus, it’s consequences.

Describe your vision: The second step is to ask yourself what do you want to cultivate. If you were able to move away from what gives you pain or discomfort, what would you like to create instead? When you describe your vision, think about it in terms of being, having, and doing so that it is sustainable for you.
Who would you like to become in your vision? What skills, resources, knowledge, and experiences do you want to gain? What would you like to do about it? When you are answering these questions, clearly visualize your answers. This will help your brain build the connections between your lower systems and upper cortex.

Describe your actions: This third step of the change formula is about describing the steps you need to take towards making the change real in your daily life. What are some action steps that you can take everyday? As we always keep repeating at FLOW, “While praying move your feet.” What will your fist step be?

Be resilient: The last step is about taking ownership and accountability for your process. This requires you to build resiliency and tenacity in making change, including appreciating every win and being patient with the process. Don’t wait until the end to acknowledge achievement, but rather appreciate the small steps and wins along the way.

If you apply these four steps together, your brain will cooperate with you in managing the change, and you will overcome your inner resistance to change.

Imagine… by the end of 2019 you will look back and remember today as the first day of new habits… new beginnings… and positive change.

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