Self-confidence is one of the core traits of our personality. Confidence either comes to us as part of our innate temperament or we learn to build it through life experiences.

Neuroscience as well as cognitive-behavioural studies have proven that our innate temperament doesn't have to define our destiny. We know that each of us has a will that is equally powerful to our core traits.

In the past, I worked with children and teenagers as a therapist. I had the chance to observe our approach to confidence from a very early age. Then, after becoming a certified life coach, I also had the opportunity to coach many adults on building confidence. My experience as a therapist and coach convinced me that, confidence can be built and maintained with intention and a series of activities to practice.

The first step is always gaining awareness about how you feel about yourself in general and also within a specific context i.e. work, relationships, and certain tasks such as exams or public speaking. You can ask yourself some of the life coaching awareness-building questions and exercises that I have been sharing with my clients.

Sample Life Coaching Questions to Gain Confidence

1. Which aspects of your life are asking you to build confidence?
2. How would you rate your confidence on a scale of 1 to 10? Where would you like to be on the scale?
3. What would be the signs of having high confidence? What would that look like?
4. Suppose that you have developed these qualities in yourself and now they are part of who you are. What would be different?
5. To make that change happen, what do you need to learn and improve? How?

Gaining self-confidence is a process. Please be compassionate with yourself. You need to exercise through some practices to break your old habits around self-confidence and replace them with new ones. These self-confidence-gaining strategies as well that always result in positive momentum:

• First of all, relax. Breathing, muscle relaxation, and meditation… are all good strategies for systematic relaxation. You can build new habits only if your body is relaxed.
• Visualize as often as possible what qualities you would like to integrate into yourself and your life.
• Pretend and role-play for some time until moving and acting with confidence becomes part of your character.
• Observe yourself in different scenarios and journal.
• Ask for feedback from others.
• Appreciate yourself each time you notice small shifts in your confidence.