Insights from Flow

Coaching
4 Ways A Life Coach Can Help You

Do you have difficulty in following your goals? Most people find no problem in setting goals and creating ways on how to achieve them but when it comes to pursue them that’s where they lag. If you need that push to take the first step you might consider consulting a life coach.

A common myth about Life Coaching says that a Life Coach tells you what to do but this is not true. A skilled Life Coach listens to you and asks questions. In fact, the world’s largest coaching organization, International Coach Federation (ICF), emphasizes that the client is the creator of the solutions, not the coach. A Professional Life Coach will help you put your best foot forward and help you narrow down your focus. Remember a good Coach does not order you around.

Four ways a Life Coach can help you get going and put you on track towards your goals are,

  1. Listens with Curiosity:
    A Coach does not listen just for the content but also goes beyond and try to understand the big picture. A Coach looks at structure and language of your speech to understand what limits you. Coach helps to build connections between what you are saying and what you want to do in order to better organize the content to find ways to move ahead.

 

  1. Broadens Your Thinking:
    You might be stuck in a bubble, but the Coach is not. A Coach asks you questions which may stimulate you to think outside the box. A Coach may help you identify matters that you were not aware of and hence could not resolve. A Coach draws attention to the big picture down to the small details, he asks questions to provoke different points of view and can inspire you to think from different perspectives.

 

  1. Asks Thought-Provoking Questions:
    ICF defines direct communication as part of a Coach’s main competencies. A Coach may ask questions which can challenge a person’s thinking. A client may say “I am not good at dancing”, a Coach can ask detailed questions to examine whether the client is true at the assumption or not such as “Do you remember a time when you were good at dancing?” Through these questions the limiting factors to reach a goal can be eliminated creating way to move forward.

 

  1. Creates Self-Independency: 
    Most people misunderstand that a Coach is responsible to account for client’s actions and pushes until the stuff gets done. A Coach helps the client to set SMART goals and create plans to achieve them, after that the client accountable for his own actions. The time period for a coaching relationship is defined usually at three-six months and during this time the Coach makes the you independent, so the structure does not fall apart once the Coach-Client relationship is over.

 

To learn more about coaching and to become a coach yourself, consider enrolling in our ICF certified coaching programs:

Our 3-month Fast Track Core Foundations ICF Certification program (Module 1-5) https://flowcoachinginstitute.com/fast-track-online-icf-acc-coach-certification/ 

Our 3-month Business Coaching ICF Certification Program https://flowcoachinginstitute.com/online-business-coach-certification-program/

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
10 Conditions for Achieving FLOW

Mihaly Cziksentmihalyipioneer of Positive Psychology and creator of the FLOW Model defines flow in the following manner:

"Flow, a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it."

Mihaly describes some components related to the realization of flow, in the following manner:

  1. In the process, clear and understandable goals are defined for each step - The person can easily describe what he/she wants to accomplish.
  1. The individual receives instant and direct feedback on their actions.
  2. In a sustainable time period, the person is concentrated on the subject and there is nothing else to distract him/her on his/her mind.
  3. With the individual's skills/abilities, there is the feeling that the task/activity is balanced.
  4. The person has the feeling that they are in control of the situation.
  5. The awareness of bodily needs disappears.
  6. The person feels that time is flowing.
  7. The person experiences the activity as if he/she has been intrinsically rewarded.
  8. He/she is absorbed fully in the activity.
  9. The person understands him/herself and feels at one with the activity (he/she is almost not aware of the situation - this can only be operated from an unconscious state)

As can be understood from this definition, the state of flow is related to removing the thinking mind from intervention. Michael Jordan (the basketball player) does not think about if he is able throw the ball or not (he does not ask the question, how can I get the ball into the hoop), if he were to think about it, probably the state of flow would be inhibited and he might throw the ball outside the hoop. Absorbing yourself in an activity ensures that the absence and awareness of the ego is intertwined with the activity.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's flow research is focused on "work" space and the creative outcomes of "work", but he also noticed that the state of flow is applicable to relationships and other situations.  In his research, Mihaly came across people who saw big difficulties as a challenge and not like an obstacle.  Some people he came across in his 25-year-long research were people that turned every potential threat into a pleasant experience, and therefore constantly experienced an inner calm mind. Mihaly referred to these people as "autotelic people" (autotelic - people who carry the purpose of existence in themselves - people who know that existence is meaningful and live it) We can think of great people like Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and Socrates as exemplars for this state of mind.; however, in his research Mihaly gives several examples showing that anyone has the capacity to experience this state.

Based on Positive Psychology and on Mihaly’s principles, when we created FLOW Coaching Model and Methodology, we had a purpose in our minds to help ordinary people to understand the concept of flow; take ownership of it and invent their own flow whether at work or with relationships or certain life challenges or even at career development. If you are interested to learn more about the FLOW Coaching Method have a look at it here on the link inside : https://flowcoachinginstitute.com/flow-coaching-method/

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
How Can Coaching Skills Benefit Corporate Trainers?

“When followed by coaching, corporate training can create adaptation of positive behavioural change up to 88%” - ICF Study

Certifying internal corporate trainers as professional coaches through an in-house Training-the-Trainer program has been an increasing trend. In the past few years, the talk of the town has been about how important coaching skills are. In the modern world of growth, competition, turbulence and globalization key corporate partners in the business need to have exceptional coaching skills to bring their A-game to the field. Key corporate partners can be anyone from HR manager to a line manager, but today our focus will be on whether corporate trainers need coaching skills or not. Over a period, various processes and tools have been evolved to ensure that the trainer is successful in making the trainee effectively absorb the information being taught. It is not merely a show-and-tell business anymore but focuses on real transfer of information. It is essential that trainers are not only subject matter experts but are also good coaches. With corporate focus on efficiency, it is very important that a good trainer must possess excellent coaching skills as well to make the best use of time and resources available and results in the trainee truly internalizing the knowledge needed to put to use at work.

Only a few years ago, majority of corporate trainers were used to be selected on the basis of their job experience and past references. But it might not be enough for the trainer to just have the expertise. However, with increasing complexity of the corporate audience human resources departments are looking for ability of facilitation skills to create deeper impact in creating desired positive change.  Therefore today’s corporate training goes beyond training skills, it should be a blend of coaching, facilitation and teaching. A corporate trainer who also possesses coaching skills can give a trainee different perspectives on what is possible. Corporate training that involves coaching inspires enthusiasm, flexibility and desire to change. Qualities such as being a good listener, communicator, responsive and committed can differentiate an ordinary trainer into an exceptional one and can increase the productiveness of the training by multiple folds.

If you are a subject matter expert and hold experience which makes you fluent in what you do one way to incorporate coaching skills into your trainings is while saving resources is to get into an online coaching certification which can help you learn how to achieve a perfect blend of teaching and coaching skills to be practiced. If the organization certifies employees as coaches, then training is less likely to become an “observe and learn” experience. Another advantage of online coaching certification programs is that supervisors will have confidence that a certified corporate training coach is qualified to prepare an inexperienced employee for a new task. Having an online coaching certification will help you ensure a productive learning environment for trainings and also help create effective feedback interactions. 

To learn more about our Training-the-Trainer programs for corporate trainers or designing and implementing Training-the-Trainer program for your internal corporate trainers, please do not hesitate to reach us at info@flowcoachinginstitute.com .  From Fortune 500 companies to local industries, coaching is a skill that corporations need to integrate into training and leadership practices in order to stay agile in the pace of fast growth and volatility.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
The three basis of meditation

The human mind has a natural tendency to constantly generate thoughts, most often long-dated patterns such as anxieties about the past, or fragmented assumptions about the future. There’s a constant chatter in our mind taking us away from the essential experience of
present-moment awareness, and limiting us from opening our selves to a more fulfilling, abundant, and expanded way of living. By clinging onto the contents of our own minds, we miss out on present opportunities that could potentially improve our lives and entire existence.

Meditation is the practice of taking an objective stand from the constant mental chatter, and centering the awareness back to the present-moment, to the here and now. It can be described as the boundless experience of Being, and feeling part of a unified whole with the Universe. The health benefits of meditation are numerous: it reduces anxiety, treats insomnia, regulates organs, clears the skin, and much more. The mental benefits are even greater; meditation rewires the neurons in your brain, giving you a subtler sense of clarity and insight over your life. In a meditative state, your intuition will naturally come forth into consciousness guiding you towards the highest and most valuable choices, in order to manifest your ideal life and becoming the ideal you.

The keys to an effective meditation practice are the following: posture, breathing, and awareness. For beginners, a meditation session can last about five minutes, and for more advanced practitioners, it can sometimes extend up to a few hours. It is recommended to meditate in the morning, or before sleeping, when the mind is less active, in a calm and alpha state. With time, you will naturally adopt a mindful attitude in your day-to-day actions, and gain expanded awareness over your life and environment.

1. Posture

Start by sitting in a comfortable position, with your shoulders relaxed and your legs crossed. Your spine must be straight to allow the energy in your body to flow naturally and release blockages. If you are new to this practice, and need extra support for your body, feel free to use a small cushion underneath you or behind your back. The key to posture is to stay balanced and relaxed during the full meditation session. The muscles in the back shouldn’t be forced or strained, and keeping  ourself straight should be effortless. To help you with this, visualize roots coming down your spine, all the way to the center of the Earth, keeping you grounded and providing you with firm and strong support. As for your arms, it is recommended to place your hands on your knees, with your palms facing the sky, to be receptive to the incoming cosmic energy into your Being.

2. Breathing

Now let’s place your focus on your breathing. Because our brain contains an intrinsic, automated breathing function, that allows oxygen to flow at all times into the body, we tend to disengage from our breathing process. This leads to a shallow and unaware way of breathing from the mouth, and limited down to the chest. Your breathing should have those three qualities: depth, consistency, and flow. Start by taking a few deep breaths from your noise, and feel your belly rising and expanding. Oxygen, or let’s call it energized air, is flowing into your nostrils, all the way down to your navel, and spreading to your organs. The old, saturated, energy is then released upwards, all the way up from your navel and out of your nostrils. Practice this a few times, until this breathing method becomes natural to you. Picture the breaths as ocean waves, that drift in and out of the shore in a consistent and gentle flow. With every inhalation you feel energized, and with every exhalation you are melting back into a state of expanded awareness.

3. Awareness

During meditation, thoughts, feelings, and emotions will naturally arise, and try to pull your awareness away from your in-depth breathing and present-moment. This is normal, as it is in the mind’s nature to think and feel. The goal isn’t to repress or ignore these mental objects, but to rather observe them without attachment or judgment. They are simply there, without a conceptual existence of their own, like any other object in the Universe. Let’s take a look at a simple analogy:

Imagine yourself sitting on a bench outside, and perceiving a flock of birds passing in the sky.  There are hundreds of birds, and each of them have different qualities, shapes, wings, and so  on. What you usually do is that you become aware of this experience of perceiving, and once these birds are gone from your field of perception, you pass onto the next experience. Now, imagine how much mental energy it would take to start analyzing and questioning each and every one of these birds. It would be mentally exhausting! But that’s what we usually do with our thoughts; we cling to them and spend enormous time over-analyzing them, preventing ourselves from fully experiencing the next moment. 

While meditating, if you notice yourself drifting into certain thought patterns, gently bring your awareness back to your breathing. And if feelings become too overwhelming, simply be with them. Don’t feel discouraged if you initially have to do it over again. You are now simply
learning to center your awareness, and soon, over time, you will master the practice of mindful meditation. Eventually, the mind will start quieting down, and you will enjoy the feeling of pure, unmediated awareness.

The secret to a successful meditation practice is to sit comfortably straight, breathe deeply from the noise, and bringing focus back to the present-moment awareness. In short time, you will feel whole and fully energized again, and ready to take over the world in your most authentic, and highest way. Enjoy your journey towards a more realized, expanded life, and namaste!

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
Why Mentoring Women at Work is Important?

Women make up almost 47% of the current workforce yet they get less access to the mentoring, career opportunities and resources to progress in their careers. This results in fewer women as you go up in the company hierarchy. This further discourages other women to make important career moves. Since now more women are entering the workforce, mentoring and coaching are important than ever.

Not only this but the lack of gender diversity can have negative effects on organizations as their talent management and succession planning may suffer. The best way to break the glass ceiling is to encouraging gender diversity and mentoring women at workplace.  

Organizations that don’t pay attention to engaging women and mentoring them for leadership can face increased employee dissatisfaction and can be at the risk of losing them. If this becomes a habit, organizations can face discrepancies in the workforce as women employees might look for other opportunities outside the organization. By mentoring and coaching women for higher roles and career progressions companies can bring diverse views which can create an environment of creativity and innovation.  

In some stages women often have to make tough decisions whether to choose and pay attention to the personal or professional life. They frequently find difficult to manage the work and life balance. However, if women employees feel supported in their career and are mentored from time to time this way, they can make more smart decisions and become more ambitious about their jobs. This may also help organizations to make effective employee retention plans as women who enter the organization at early stages of their careers may see themselves growing side-by-side with the organization.

LeanIn.org founder and Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg says, “women already weren’t getting the same mentorship men were, particularly women of color.” And according to her, she says, “no one has ever gotten a promotion without getting a one-on-one meeting.”

Why Women Employees and Mentoring Are the Perfect Mix?

Until now many researches have shown women linked with better ability to read nonverbal cues, having higher empathy and emotional intelligence. These traits do end up promoting higher collaboration and better communication within teams.

A woman mentored today is a woman mentor tomorrow. If women are provided mentoring opportunities in early stages of their careers and they move up, they are more likely to believe they can mentor others. It is believed that 65 percent of women who have been mentored will go on to become mentors themselves, thus perpetuating the positive mentorship cycle for women.

Research says the most successful teams are the ones with more women on them. Gender diverse groups provide varied inputs for better problem solving and decision making therefore, are more effective.

How Different Genders Think Differently?

Studies show how different genders look at career advancement. For women career development is related to work relationships and connections whereas for men it has to do more with higher autonomy. This is the reason mentoring is perfect for women as it nurtures conversations and relationships.

A study by LeanIn suggests, 60% of male managers are uncomfortable participating in a common work activity with a woman, such as mentoring, working alone, or socializing together. That’s a 32% increase from last year. 

A high percentage of women consider mentorship as a very important factor in their career however almost a similar number of women claim to have never asked for a mentor. Women are more found to be more hesitant when it comes to soliciting mentorship as they are often unsure who to reach out to. The best way to deal with this is to place formal mentoring programs or sponsored coaching certification programs as this will help break walls in between the employers and women employees.  This approach will be helpful in recognizing women employees career development as important to organizations success.

How to Reduce Gender Differences at Work?

Organizations can easily reduce the gender gap by making networking, coaching, training and mentoring prospects available for women employees. Gone are the days of one-on-one mentoring, with technological advancement a variety of tools and processes are available in order to adapt to modern mentoring. One of these is giving the power to the women and getting them enrolled for an online coaching certification. This way not only can they manage their work-life balance but can also drive their own development on their terms. An online coaching certification saves time, effort and resources required for mentoring at work. Modern mentoring approaches make employees specifically women feel engaged and empowered.

Creating a gender diverse environment within the organization fosters innovation, collaboration and helps the company to cash the success with profits and revenue. Women are now creating their place in the workforce and this is the right time to start thinking ahead and aid women in advancing their careers to help ambitious new starters. Mentoring and placing coaching programs whether online certification programs or one-on-one sessions is the key to this strategy.

 

If you want to introduce coaching and mentoring programs in your company or want to become a coach yourself email us at info@flowcoachinginstitute.com and let us help you.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
Aligning your choices with your core values

Your values are the guidelines of your life, and the principles through which you make the choices that truly matter to you. When one is aligned with their core values, they feel in total flow, in complete harmony with the world, and an unquestionable trust in the Universe’s miraculous ways of unfolding. Every choice they make is optimal for their growth and success, and life becomes a playful ground of endless possibilities. They live an ultimately abundant, prosperous, and successful life. On the other hand, when a person acts in conflict with their core values, they make choices that are sometimes inauthentic, and that could be damaging to their health, life, and surroundings. Life seems more of a battleground where, at any moment, unpredictable events can happen and threaten their well-being. If life currently seems like a turmoil to you, the good news is that at any time, you can turn inward and listen to your inner wisdom for guidance. Some of your needs, either material or existential, are waiting to be acknowledged, and once met, life takes a new direction towards fulfillment, meaning, and realization.

Values are very unique to each individual. To comprehend your guiding values, ask yourself: What truly matters to you? What do you presently and authentically need  the most to be at your highest? If you are unsure, start by becoming aware of your general feelings. A feeling first manifests itself as a very subtle, intuitive gut sensation expressing an inner or outer need to be fulfilled. When overlooked, these needs turn into more generalized, encompassing states of being. As an example, the overall feeling of loneliness may show an underlying need for relationships and intimacy; it indicates that some of one’s choices and actions don’t align with their core value for intimate, nurtured relationships. Furthermore, when facing a major decision, the best choice is usually the one arising in your heart and mind right before cognitive reasoning takes authority over your decision-making. A lot of time, we make choices based on conditioned, traditional beliefs about life, success, and happiness, instead of listening to our own authentic voice. The key is to overcome the fear of making decisions beyond the confines of logical reasoning, and which potentially come with obstacles. Trust that difficult challenges are part of your growth and that your values will intuitively guide you in the most rewarding, fulfilling journey to a meaningful and successful life.

To summarize, here are 3 things you can do to align your choices with your core values:

  1. Listen to your intuitive feelings — With introspective meditation, it is possible to understand the underlying needs behind your feelings. What do you wish to feel instead, and what choices of actions will fulfill those needs?
  2. Get out of your comfort zone — Sometimes, making the best choices means countering collective beliefs and traditions. How will you manage and stay strong facing objections and criticisms?
  3. Trust your gut— Although a decision may not seem like the easiest path, it could be the most rewarding and fulfilling one. Trust your gut and the Universe that the difficulties you’ll encounter are part of your learning journey to fulfill your most transcendent needs.

Elie Abou-Jaoude is a Certified Life Coach, ICF, FCC, who brings a transpersonal and holistic approach to coaching, and helps individuals go through major life transformations and reach their fullest human potential. Always provides a culturally-sensitive, compassionate, and supportive environment.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
Establishing a deep level of trust in your relationships

Do you know someone, perhaps a partner, a friend, a parent, a therapist, or a coach, who gives you the space to authentically be yourself, and shows continuous faith and support in your highest potential? Do they actively listen to the best of their abilities what you communicate from a deeper level of the soul? In their presence, you can comfortably be vulnerable without having to defend or maintain a certain self-image. You are confident about their motives and intentions, and very transparent with your own. There’s a profound level of trust in which you existentially understand and respect each other, while recognizing the ways you can grow and transform. The relationship becomes a continuous activity of mutual openness and support for each other’s journey to self-realization.

Trust is a reciprocal act of mutual openness: one takes the role of a receptive listener and the other of an expressive communicator, and switch roles when necessary. The level of understanding of the receptive listener, toward what is being expressed by the communicator, is relative to their level of self-awareness. When a person goes through extensive personal or spiritual work, they gain intuitive understanding of the meaning and roots of their behaviors, habits, motives, and feelings. They realize that these personality traits are surface expressions of unconscious mental patterns stemming from past beliefs, concepts, experiences, and repressed emotions. For example, feelings such as jealousy, anger, hate, or envy are unconscious, defense mechanisms to cope with stored, unreleased pain— and when finally released, awareness expands. The person’s identity eventually becomes a manifestation of the essential, spiritual qualities of the self. When one expands their awareness, they become more open and accepting of others’ personality’s flaws, knowing that beyond this surface dwells an expansive, spiritual self waiting to be manifested.

Receptive listeners, who have gone through extensive personal and spiritual development, have the openness to understand and support the communicator in a non-judgmental, unbiased, and empathetic way. They accept the communicator’s feelings, behaviors, and motives as superficial expressions of unconscious mental patterns, and try not to make judgments or assumptions about them. Instead, these listeners honor the highest, spiritual qualities of all individuals, and recognize their ever-expanding creative potential. Coaches and therapists are great examples of self-aware, competent professionals, who provide this quality and depth of listening, by asking inquisitive, thought-provoking questions. Whether you’re a coach, a friend, or a stranger on the listening end, always keep an open-mind, be accepting, compassionate, empathetic, and patient with what a person is trying to communicate. As a communicator, specify from the beginning the purpose of the interaction and the type of support you’re expecting from the listener. Remember to express gratitude and appreciation for the listener’s presence and willingness to understand. To trust, and be trusted, be your highest and most honorable self.

To conclude, here are three main indications that you are in a relationship of deep mutual trust:

1- You are at all times being your highest, most authentic self. There is no need to maintain a self-image or be self-conscious of anything. You are transparent with your motives and intentions.

2- Feelings are embraced and respected. You can open up with confidence and in a vulnerable way what you truly feel inside, with the other person offering their full presence, acceptance, and understanding.

3- You believe in each other’s expanding potential. You support each other’s decisions in life, and celebrate your blessings, achievements, and successes.

Elie Abou-Jaoude is a Certified Life Coach, ICF, FCC, who brings a transpersonal and holistic approach to coaching, and helps individuals go through major life transformations and reach their fullest human potential. Always provides a culturally-sensitive, compassionate, and supportive environment.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
Allow, then expand your thoughts

Sometimes, unwanted thoughts, feelings, emotions, or memories from the past knock at the door of our conscious minds. We automatically label these guests as hostile, and firmly lock the door for fear they will cause havoc in our safe and comfortable homes. They leave and hide in far, unexplored regions of the mind, becoming our closest, permanent neighbors. Because we are afraid of ever coming into contact with these so-called intruders, we remain confined in our limiting homes, never exploring our unclaimed territories and their limitless resources. These neighbors become our greatest enemies who could potentially cause us discomfort, pain, or disturbance at any time— every moment of our lives becomes centered on avoiding them. Our choices, behaviors, and habits, from the way we act to the way we think, are influenced by their unconscious presence. We believe these neighbors will eventually disappear, but all we’re doing is build thicker, taller walls separating them from us. We never dare to cross the drawn line between our safe and limiting homes, and the fearful but infinitely expandable territory.

Coaching is a conversational skill where a professional coach co-creates a desired future with an individual. An honest conversation, and some resilience to overcome momentary disturbances are simply needed to make these neighbors vanish forever. All they want is a channel to express some deeper needs waiting to be fulfilled; that channel is the home of your conscious mind. Discomfort and pain do not indicate the presence of something negative, but rather the absence of what is essential. Emptiness is filled not by avoiding but by allowing what is meant to come in. When you open the door, allowing your neighbors to enter, you also open your way out of your comfort zone and release. While they’re in, they gradually dissipate after a few intense minutes and leave vacant the lands they previously occupied. You can now claim back the parts of you that were taken and repressed— you plant more seeds, enjoy more resources, live more abundantly, and you expand. You wish you’d knew before, that the momentary pains of facing these neighbors, which are your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories, are worth the resourceful territories you gain later. As more guests continue to show up at your door, life becomes a never-ending, cosmic journey of allowing the pains and pleasures of life to pass through, and infinitely expanding to your highest and fullest potential.

Here are some affirmations to help you allow and dissipate your feelings, thoughts, and emotions with ease and flow. While you repeat these affirmations in your mind or out-loud, take deep breaths and feel your Being expanding as you pass through the sensations of resistance, discomfort, or pain that may arise:

"I am strong, vast, powerful, resilient, enough to handle and overcome any level of discomfort or pain. I allow the feelings and thoughts to pass through and leave with ease and flow. I am now wisely ready to let go, and open up for something newer and higher.”

“I am fully open and receptive for greater abundance and expansion in my life. I deserve only the highest and best things to happen. Everyday I make authentic choices that are in alignment with my fullest potential.”

Elie Abou-Jaoude is a Certified Life Coach, ICF, FCC, who brings a transpersonal and holistic approach to coaching, and helps individuals go through major life transformations and reach their fullest human potential. Always provides a culturally-sensitive, compassionate, and supportive environment.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
9 Dysfunctional Thoughts Helping You Master Self Sabotage

Most of the self-sabotage originates from dysfunctional and irrational thinking that we develop while growing up. We are all made up of thoughts, feelings, behaviours and habits As we are all aware that our thoughts can upset us, certain types of thoughts can also create negative feelings. I will continue to share a controversial fact with you. It might help you to realize that the thoughts that make you feel bad are often irrational or dysfunctional, and a lot of times you subconsciously  keep producing them. These thoughts are not there to serve you anymore, moreover they are the masters of self sabotage. Not only do these thoughts prevent you from seeing the world with an objective in your mind and with neutral eyes, it rather distorts your view of the World and realities of your life.

So, let’s reflect back: Most self sabotage such as underestimating yourself, perfectionism, hopelessness, and low confidence are often caused by dysfunctional thoughts. When you gain awareness of what your dysfunctional thoughts are and how they are affecting you, then you can draw a line to avoid sabotaging yourself and experience a sense of progress.

Nine (9) Dysfunctional Thoughts That Help You Master Self Sabotage

  1. “Either/Or” Thinking: You see things in black or white, 10-0 categories.
  2. Pressured Thinking: Often you think you “should”, “must”, “have to” be in a certain way or not; do certain things or not.
  3. Underestimating Your Achievements: You keep underestimating your wins and rather focus on challenges and negatives in life.
  4. Ignoring the Positives: You have a tendency or lack of awareness of counting the positives.
  5. Jumping to Conclusions: You have not developed a healthy curiosity or patience to wait for, listen to and understand the big picture. Somehow you believe that you read people’s minds or already know all the answers!
  6. Like or Dislike Thinking: You reason from whether you like or dislike.
  7. Labeling: You categorize yourself and others as losers, jerks, etc.
  8. Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as an infinite pattern of defeat.
  9. Blame: You blame yourself and often feel guilty for things that are not under your control, or you aren’t responsible for.

Talyaa Vardar

Coaching
5 Steps to Personal Coaching Certification

Would you ever go to a dentist who doesn’t have a diploma?

We’re assuming that the answer is a straight no! Same principle applies to personal coaching certification. The first step to become a certified coach is to go through a legitimate training program accredited by the International Coach Federationand get certified.

So, first things first. Why personal coaching?

There is a reason why personal coaching certification has been one of the fastest growing career choices around the World in the last ten years. The truth is that, today’s people, unless they have a pathology or a serious mental problem, don’t want to go through years of therapy and instead, they want faster wins and solutions. Many people want to focus on now and tomorrow instead of digging deep into the buries of their past.

As life gets busier, more and more people are in need of support- the kind of support that will make them progress and move forward. Coaching does that and it Works! Personal coaches who are certified are educated well in the process of helping people to get from where they are to where they could be and where they want to be.  Certified personal coaches who have credentials know how to help individuals to;

  • Explore and articulate what they want
  • Become aware of who they are when they are free of their inner critics and past related mentoal & emotional limiting beliefs
  • Analyse the gap between where they are and what they want
  • Help them to progress on their abilities and resources
  • Support them to create a success plan with realistic steps
  • Encourage them to dare to become the person they can be at their maximum capacity
  • Move forward and take action
  • Measure the results of success and revişe the plan if necessary
  • Focus on what is really important versus loosing time with dysfunctional mental, emotional and behavioral habits that do not serve the person anymore
  • Work on the habit of prioritization for a happier life from present to future.

 

So, how can one become a certified personal coach? What are the steps of personal coaching certification?

Step 1: Find A Legitimate Coach Training Program 

As we said before, first hings first: you need to enrol in a program that is certified from the International Coach Federation which is the regulating body for Professional coaching. ICF accreditation is quickly becoming the gold standard for all life coach certification programs. When looking for the perfect coaching program that fits your needs, be sure you only choose programs that are ICF accredited.

Like a college degree, earning your coaching certification is the best way to claim your expertise in the field of coaching. Make sure that when you are searching for a program, the program has an ACTP (Accredited Coach Training Program)certification type. ACTP means that the program offers the highest level of certification. Do not forget: you are in the field of helping people and people are sophisticated. An ACTP program will prepare you at the maximum capacity to guarantee that you have the capabilities and confidence to coach people.

Step 2: Make sure that your values are aligned with the program’s philosophy

While all ACTPs must live upto ICF ethical standards and coaching competencies, their models, philosophies and methodologies will differ.

For example, FLOW Coaching Institute’s Positive Psychology based ACTP personal coach certification program values the science of happiness versus the orientation of fixing problems. And moreover, it offers the use of a structure in a coaching session that has space for creativity and flow at multidimensional levels (mental, emotional, relational, physical, spiritual, cultural, political).

Step 3: Make sure that the program has it’s roots in science

It is quite sad but there are many coach training programs out there with unrealistic claims and no foundations in science. We strongly recommend that you choose a program that has links to a scientific discipline. For example, FLOW Coaching Institute’s ACTP personal coach certification program has it’s foundations in Positive Psychology that were pioneered by Dr Martin Seligman and Psychologist Mihaly Csikszenmihalyi .

Step 4: Be coached.

It is important that you get coached to have an understanding of what it feels like to be coached. Successful coaches have göne through the process of personal coaching either before or after they complete their certification. As a Professional coach, working with a personal coach will give you authenticity.

Step 5: Focus on your competency development for building your practice and get mentoring and supervision on your coaching skills.

Research tells us that Professional coaches, whether life coaches or career or executive coaches, are the ones who invested in their skill development and have göne through mentoring and supervision for their coaching skills improvement. Coaching is about delivering meaningful & structured conversations towards desired outcomes and most of the time human beings are not linear beings and the conversation is not very straightforward. If you work with a mentor coach for supervision, with their support you will be investing in your competencies to run effecitive coaching sessions and provide value to your clients increasingly.   Do not forget: You are in the busines sof generating value for other people. So you will only be successful as of the worth of the value you are generating for your clients!

Talyaa Vardar